What does it mean to serve your homeland? Research work "what does it mean to serve the fatherland"
Municipal budgetary educational institution
"Krasnoozernaya basic secondary school"
Regional scientific and practical conference
“A healthy Russia is our future”
RESEARCH
on the topic “What does it mean to serve the Fatherland?” .
Completed:
Severina Angelina
4th grade student
Teacher:
Kuchendaeva L.M.
teacher classes
S. Krasnoozernoe
2015
Content
Introduction 3
ChapterI
1.1. Military destinies 4
1.2. Heroes of ordinary days4
ChapterII"Everyone's Sacred Duty"
2.1. H 5
Conclusion 5
Information resources 6
Application
Proverbs about the Motherland 7
Photos from the family archive 8
Essays of classmates 13
Introduction
Be a patriot... What does this mean?
And this means loving the Motherland,
And this means honestly, disinterestedly
Serve your beloved fatherland.
Kovaleva E.
The topic of my research is “What does it mean to serve the Fatherland?” Hearing this question from the teacher, I thought seriously. Does this imply fulfilling one’s “honorable duty” in the form of military service? Or do young people now have no such concept at all - “serve the Fatherland”? And if so, how do they imagine this service? It seems to me that modern children have to live in rather difficult times. We often hear that we live in a world in which there are no ideals. Many people believe that our time is a time in which there are no heroes. The words citizen, patriot are distorted.
The relevance is that today the Russian army evokes ambivalent feelings, parents are trying their best to protect their sons from service.
Interested in theseproblems , I set myselftarget:
find out whether children can serve the Fatherland.
To achieve this goal I need to solve the followingtasks:
get acquainted with new facts from the history of my family;
get acquainted with literary works about the Motherland;
study people's opinions.
This work includes the following groupsmethods:
survey;
observation;
collection of information;
systematization of information;
registration of work;
public speaking.
Information sources:
literary devices
Internet
interview
classmates' essays
The practical result is a memo “Serving the Fatherland” and an information report with a presentation, which can be used in lessons about the surrounding world, literature, and during class hours.
ChapterI“How my own mother saw me off…”
1.1. Military destinies
I started my research with my family, finding out how my ancestors served. I can only learn about the fate of some of them from stories, because they died long before I was born. My great-great-grandfather, Fomin Gavrila Aleksandrovich, born in 1900, was dispossessed in 1933 and exiled with his family to Abakan. That's how they ended up in Khakassia. They worked in the fields. And in 1939 they finally settled in Krasnoozernoye. Died at the front.
His daughter married Grigory Ilyich Korolev. He was born in 1922 in the Saratov region on the banks of the Volga. In 1941, on July 1, he was drafted into the army, he had a seven-grade education, and even before the war he completed driver’s courses. He was sent to study at the Volsk Aviation School as a fighter aviation mechanic technician.
In July 1942 he graduated and went to the front. He fought on the Southwestern Front, on the Voronezh Front, which was renamed the First Ukrainian Front.
In February 1944, as part of a group of five people, he was transferred from the front to a military school to train pilots for the front.
In July 1945, they were sent to Sakhalin to defeat the Japanese Kwantung Army.
In March 1947, he was demobilized with the rank of aviation foreman. He had awards: medal “For Military Merit”, medal “For Victory over Germany and Japan”. After the war, my grandfather lived to be 67 years old.
My second great-grandfather, Andrey Leontyevich Vyatchin, was born in 1918. In 1938, he was called up for military service by the district military registration and enlistment office. In 1941 he went to the front. He fought on the Belorussian Front as an artillery reconnaissance officer and had military awards: “Order of the Patriotic War”, “Order of Glory” and others. He returned alive and lived to be 72 years old.
These are my great-grandfathers. They gave all their strength, knowledge, and skill to the service of the Fatherland.
1.2. Heroes of ordinary days.
Now that it has become unprestigious to join the army, I speak with pride about my father, my older brother, my maternal and paternal uncles, who honorably fulfilled their duty to their homeland. My father served in the border troops, my brother Alexey served in the GRU special forces.They “didn’t turn away” from the army, and are proud that they served, considering the army a real school for real men!
Many young guys are fleeing from military service in panic. They are ready to ruin their health, break limbs, but not serve. But many people are really worth serving. Demobilizers (contract soldiers) have benefits when entering universities and getting a job.They say that previously a guy who had not served was not considered a person; girls tried not to be friends with them.
ChapterII"Everyone's Sacred Duty"
2.1. Hdoes it mean to serve the Fatherland in the broadest sense of the word?
Next, I conducted a survey among children and adultsin order to study people's opinions. Of all respondents, 52% were children and 48% were adults. The children answered briefly. The main answers were: to defend the Motherland, serve the Motherland and repay the debt to the Motherland. The adults answered more interestingly. For example, to be proud of your country, to help young and elderly people, to do your job honestly, to take care of your relatives.
Then in class we wrote essays answering this question. Many of the essays were very interesting. Some associate service to the Fatherland with military service, others even believe that this means “giving everything, maybe even your life.” I liked the saying that every person begins to serve the Fatherland from childhood. For example, studying at school, college, then working for the benefit of the homeland, protecting nature. But the main thing on which our opinions agreed was that serving the Fatherland can be understood in different ways, but one must love it limitlessly.
Conclusion
Thus, I believe that the main result of the work done is that I came to the conclusion that in order to serve your Fatherland, you do not have to be a military man. It is enough just to love your country.To serve the Fatherland is to serve its people (that is, oneself). This is when everyone in their place does their job and does it well. Someone studies, someone works: at a table, at a machine, in factories, in factories, in the fields: or plays football; or conducts complex negotiations... It doesn’t matter what it is, but it is imperative that everyone feels that they are doing one common, big and important thing that everyone really needs and needs, and it is aimed, first of all, for the benefit, for the prosperity of our huge and wonderful Fatherland, which is called Russia!This, in my understanding, is service to the Fatherland of an ordinary citizen.
I, Severina Angelina, at the age of 10, try to study well, help veterans, my family and friends, take care of cleanliness, nature conservation, participating in cleanup days. I am a patriot of my country, which means I serve the Fatherland!
References:
Materials from the family archive (letters, certificates, photographs)
Internet data.
1000 proverbs, riddles, sayings. Comp. V.F. Dmitrieva. –M.:AST; St. Petersburg: Sova, 2011. – 510 p.
Dal V.I. Explanatory dictionary of the living Great Russian language.
Annex 1
Proverbs about the Motherland
My great-grandfather - Korolev Grigory Ilyich (left)
Dad - Severin Vladimir Vasilievich
Grandfather – Syusin Vasily Gerasimovich
Having recently heard the news about the beginning of military conscription, I seriously thought about what it means for the younger generation to “serve the Fatherland” now? Does this imply fulfilling one’s “honorable duty” in the form of military service? Or do young people now have no such concept at all - “serve the Fatherland”? And if so, how do they imagine this service?
Of course, the majority did not want to serve in the army even in Soviet times - they excused themselves as best they could. At one time, the only way out was to enroll in a university—students were not drafted. Then, however, this “freebie” ended for a while - they began to take everyone, although not for long. I just found myself in that period when they were drafted indiscriminately. And from the first days I felt that the practice of the former preferential treatment of students in many cases played a bad joke - the “grandfathers” treated the spring recruitment and generally conscripts from universities extremely harshly, the principle of social stratification worked here - those who could not enter the institute , they tried in the army to take it out on those who were suddenly drafted into the army from the institute. I quite well remember contemptuous statements like “show me, higher education, how to properly clean glasses in the toilet.”
Proving your right to life was difficult, but it was possible, although not for everyone. I also had a hard time, I earned dozens of scars on my skin. But literally a couple of years after demobilization, I could say (and still say): military service is the best school in life, although it is very tough. And the main hardships are not some kind of hazing, the most difficult thing is psychological communication with a heterogeneous team, with representatives of different social, age and national groups. This is a unique experience that cannot be acquired in other conditions. Here you cannot be mean, greedy, cowardly and corrupt. Here you need to fight - not for survival, as it may seem at first, but for yourself - in order to become better than you are.
I never liked and still don’t like “khaki brains.” But after graduating from university, I agreed to go to serve - albeit in a different form, without drill and combat, but with the same discipline and with even greater responsibility. I served and continue, as a civilian, to SERVE THE FATHERLAND.
You don't have to be a military man to serve your Fatherland. It is enough just to love your country. Anticipating the grins of a certain part of the readers, I will say right away that in my opinion, serving the Fatherland means trying to make it better. Serving the Fatherland means serving its people (that is, oneself). This does not at all mean currying favor with the authorities - they are there at the top, and the people are here, around. I don’t want to wait for the authorities to get around to solving the problems of my city, street, home, family. I don’t want to hide my eyes and pass by those who need help - here and now. If it’s in my power to help someone, I must do it, because by doing so I’m not just helping someone else, and I’m not even just helping myself to feel like a human being - I may be helping someone else from the outside to move on from the dead point and follow my example (at least I really hope so).
This, in my understanding, is service to the Fatherland of an ordinary citizen. But in the same way, if necessary, I am ready to stand “under arms” and defend my Fatherland - fortunately, I have known how to do this since I was 18 years old. And what can a generation brought up with contempt for their country and its defenders know and defend? However, in this matter the most important word is “educated”, because we brought up ourselves. Whatever you name the yacht, that’s how it will sail. The only good thing is that not everyone is the same.
War years, military dates...
All people know them, not only soldiers,
After all, for the sake of a great victory
Fathers died, grandfathers died.
There were explosions, bullets whistled...
So years, months, weeks passed.
We fought for a long time
But they defended their homeland.
Tears and blood flowed like a river,
But duty and love turned out to be the strongest.
People died in the war
Russia will never forget them.
After all, they served for a long time
And at the cost of their lives they saved their homeland.
“To live means to serve the Motherland,
That's what my father once told me -
A fighter should have such a motto.”
My dad is a policeman, he is a real fighter.
He had to be in war more than once,
He fought in the Caucasus, he also fought in Chechnya.
But he survived and returned home.
Because his soul is devoted to the Motherland!
I listened to daddy's words
And I decided to follow in his footsteps,
I also want to be a policeman
Serve the people, serve the Motherland!
| To live means to serve the Motherland |
|
Ekkemeeva Lydia , 7th grade, school No. 42 |
Human history is replete with wars. But the world has never known a war like the Second World War. Unleashed by German fascism, it pulled dozens of countries, hundreds of millions of people into its fiery orbit, marking the 40s of the last century with a terrible, bloody mark. This war claimed more than 56 million human lives, and hundreds of thousands of cities and villages were razed to the ground.
In 1941, the Second World War entered its main and decisive phase. Having treacherously violated the Non-Aggression Pact, Hitler's troops launched an attack on the Soviet Union on June 22. The Great Patriotic War of the Soviet people began.
This year the whole country will celebrate a great event, the victory over the plague of the 20th century, the victory of the Soviet people over Nazi Germany.
My grandfather’s name is Makar Petrovich, he was a participant in that war. From the very beginning to the very end he went through the Great Patriotic War. He was 18 years old when he was drafted into the army. Towards the end of the service the war began. He fought the Nazis as a sailor in the Baltic Fleet. He was wounded more than once, and stood on the brink of death more than once. Grandfather spoke with tears in his eyes about how their ship was sunk, how for three days and three nights he was chest-deep in water with a wounded arm and leg, saving himself on a log along with his comrades, the Nazis captured them. For two years he was in a concentration camp in Germany. In inhuman conditions, my grandfather experienced brutal massacres of people, hunger and cold. How hard it was for him and what hardships he endured can also be judged because he cannot talk about the war without tears. He doesn't like to remember this time. I am now beginning to understand what war is. This is the death of friends, comrades and the most dear people in the world. After all, I know that by the time the fascists attacked our country, they had already captured many other countries and raised their fascist flags over foreign lands, on which a terrible crooked cross, like a spider, wriggled. These banners carried grief and death to the people. Where they fluttered. Tears and blood flowed. And in these difficult moments, my grandfather dreamed that the war would end, that he would return to his homeland, and as a young guy he dreamed of living with his family. After the war, my grandfather married my grandmother Elena. They raised eight sons, among them my dad.
My grandfather Makar Petrovich was awarded many medals and orders. Despite the difficulties, he is alive and, although he is 83 years old, is vigorous and strong. And my grandmother is my heroine. She was awarded the Order “For Valiant Labor during the Great Patriotic War.” I love them very much and wish only the best.
When I grow up, I will try to be a worthy daughter of our Motherland. My goal in life: to live - to serve the Motherland.
Our gardens are not planted for enemies,
Young, bright gardens;
Our roads are not “laid down” for them,
The gardens were not built for them.
You burn, narrow strip of dawn,
Smoke from fires creeps across the ground...
We love you, our native Russian land,
We will never give offense!
Russia is my great Motherland. I am proud to live in Russia, among these fields and forests, among the silence of nature, its tranquility. The only thing that can break this silence is war.
War is a terrible word. Many leave and do not return; they remain there, on the land where this happens. The Second World War... as soon as veterans hear these words, they tell with tears in their eyes that they saw how people so close to their hearts died. Many soldiers died without sparing themselves for our Motherland. Every person who has been in war knows what it is like and will never forget it: the death of people, hatred of enemies, the smell of gunpowder, hard work, the feeling that you are about to be killed.
I am writing this essay and thinking about my great-grandfather. He took part in the war. He is no longer alive. After he returned from the war, he lived for quite a long time. He was seriously wounded. In battle, his legs were blown out; it was probably terrible pain and mental suffering, but his great-grandfather did not accept it. He suppressed his feelings of inferiority, and I think his great-grandmother, who looked after him all his life, helped him with this.
I still remember what my great-grandfather told me about the war: how he fought for his motherland, how bravely he went to war. He had a friend, he said, very faithful and devoted. One day a friend was wounded, and the Nazis were coming closer and closer. Great-grandfather could not leave his friend alone, to certain death, he returned to him, and that’s when he was blown up by a mine. He survived. One of his favorite songs about his homeland was the song:
Beloved land, native land
Forests, native fields.
I won't give you to him -
Almost 60 years have passed since the war ended. Much has changed, although these changes are not very noticeable; with time, first of all, we – people – change. This is precisely why it was very difficult to write an essay for a thirteen-year-old girl and evaluate the actions of her great-grandfather. All veterans were the same in the main thing: faith in the rightness of their actions, they were convinced of victory and the liberation of the Motherland, which they volunteered to defend. None of them wanted to die, but each of them was internally ready for this.
The war for the liberation of our Motherland requires sacrifices. Inevitably, blood had to be shed in order for our Fatherland to bloom and develop. To defeat the enemy, our people did not spare the most important thing - life.
Russia will forever remember the participants in the war. Mothers will tell their children how soldiers bravely fought for their peace of mind, which they will have as long as there are people who love their Motherland.
But it is not only thanks to soldiers that our country is free. The civilian population did everything to make it easier for the soldiers in battle: they knitted socks, clothes, and dug trenches. Our people defeated the enemy together, because the more friendly the people, the easier it is to defeat the enemy.
People who lived during the Great Patriotic War were convinced that to live meant to serve the Motherland.
... War is the most immoral thing
the most deed that man has ever created.
But people fight hard to
the word WAR itself would be mentioned
with shame and repentance by those who
will live after us and for whose sake
we live and work now.
V. Astafiev
You and I have not seen the war: we have not heard the crying of the mothers and wives of soldiers, the cry of children left without fathers. We know about the war only from films, from the works of writers and poets, and from the stories of our great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers. The years of the Patriotic War will never be forgotten. The further we go, the more vivid and majestic they will unfold in our memory.
Love for the Motherland, loyalty to civic duty, collectivism, a sense of camaraderie - these are the main features inherent in war heroes. They are deeply aware of the general meaning of the struggle, their personal responsibility for the fate of the country, and they consciously undertake heroic deeds and self-sacrifice. Life and struggle in the name of the Motherland, heroism for them is not a momentary flash, but a norm of behavior, a worldview. Such people cannot be defeated. You can kill, but you cannot win.
There are various forms of manifestation of the feat, which can be accomplished not only on the battlefield and not only with the help of weapons. The main criterion of heroism in the moral greatness of a person is the strength of his indomitable spirit. We must not forget about those who supplied ammunition during these formidable years, we must not forget about the feat that, together with their people, with the whole country, people who worked in the fields, plants, factories, hospitals accomplished during these years...
Such people include my great-grandmother Taisiya. Her youth coincided with the Great Patriotic War. Great-grandmother was a very good person. This was a stately, tall and beautiful girl. She was an advanced milkmaid and calf raiser. At sixteen she was married off. The Great Patriotic War began, the men were taken to war, and the great-grandmother was left alone with three young children. The eldest daughter was five years old, and the youngest was ten months old. During the war years, life was very difficult for them: there was never enough food, the children were small, and there was no one to expect help from. Work on the collective farm, housekeeping, raising children - everything fell on the fragile shoulders of a young woman. Without resting, without eating or getting enough sleep, she thought about how not to lose heart, not to lose strength and patience. She understood: “To live means to serve the Motherland.” At night, shedding tears for her husband, who never returned from the war, during the day she and her children built a house, a warm and cozy corner where she raised my grandmother and mother. Now my great-grandmother is not with us, but every year we come to her at the cemetery, where she is buried next to the Chuvash writer Marfa Trubina, to bow to this woman, who every day performed a moral feat in the rear.
And even if in this life not everyone is given the opportunity to compare with people like my great-grandmother, but every true patriot must do what is within his power, and if necessary, then beyond his strength.
60 years define us from the day when the last salvos of the Great Patriotic War were fired. For almost four years, 1418 days and nights, the Soviet people waged an unprecedented heroic struggle against a cruel, strong and insidious enemy - the German fascists. The first socialist state on the planet, defending the interests of peace and good neighborliness, defended its independence and the freedom of other states.
It was a very scary time. German troops entered Russian territory. The Great Patriotic War began. The very word “Patriotic” suggests that the people defended their Fatherland. Not only the military took part in the war, but also volunteers went to defend their homeland.
Among the volunteers were schoolchildren like us. Before the war, these were the most ordinary boys and girls. We studied, helped elders, played, ran, jumped, broke our noses and knees. Only their relatives, classmates and friends knew their names. The hour has come - they showed how huge a small child’s heart can become when a sacred love for the Motherland and hatred for its enemies flares up in it. Boys... Girls... The weight of adversity, disaster, and grief of the war years fell on their fragile shoulders. And they did not bend under this weight, they became stronger in spirit, more courageous, more resilient.
Little heroes of the big war... They fought alongside their elders - fathers, brothers. They fought everywhere: at sea, in the sky, in the forest, in a partisan detachment.
Their matured childhood was filled with such trials that, even if a very talented writer had imagined them, it would have been difficult to believe. But it was. It happened in the history of our great country, it happened in the destinies of its little citizens - ordinary boys and girls. And people called them heroes: Lenya Golikov, Marat Kazei, Zina Portnova...
Today, although everything is forgotten about them, we learn from these people unrequited love for the Motherland, courage, dignity, courage and perseverance. There is a peaceful sky above us. In the name of this, millions of sons and daughters of the Motherland gave their lives. And among them are those who were as old as we are today.
And let everyone ask themselves the question: “Could I do this?” - and, having answered himself sincerely and honestly, he will think about how to live and study today in order to be worthy of the memory of his wonderful peers, the young citizens of our country. I myself will answer this way: “To live means to serve the Motherland.”
Composition
Heroism, courage, patriotism, self-sacrifice - these concepts arise in the history of a country when war or some general national disaster befalls it.
But even in peacetime, without the manifestation of these human qualities, it is impossible to become a real man.
I really like these poetic lines from Mikhail Lobov:
To become a man, it is not enough for him to be born. To become iron, it is not enough to be ore.
You must melt down. To crash.
And, like ore, sacrifice yourself...
In my opinion, what makes a boy a real man is military service, when military discipline strengthens him, physical exercises and training harden him, and the constant shoulder of a friend teaches him responsiveness and understanding. True, in recent decades the authority of the army has fallen, this is because moral values in society have been shaken. Human decency, loyalty to one's word, self-sacrifice for others have become out of fashion, and they have been replaced by other values - practicality, thirst for profit, selfishness, greed. I just want to scream; "Hey people. Let’s think very seriously about how to live on earth.” If every young man “evades” the army, who will protect the country from the same terrorists?
Imagine if our grandfathers and great-grandfathers had all deserted during the Great Patriotic War, what would have happened to the country, to all of us? Would fascism give a chance for life to our Russia and subsequent generations?
Of course not!
When I wrote this essay, I turned to my father, a participant in the Afghan war, for help. This is what he told me.
What is an army? In my opinion, the army is where yesterday’s boys grow into real men and become courageous, strong, able to stand up for themselves and protect relatives and family. Every father must prepare his son for this difficult but courageous stage in the life of a young man. If you do not join the army, then you will not grow up to be a defender of the Fatherland, there will be no discipline in life and the life experience gained in the army. But in our time, not many young people are eager to join the army, since now there is “hazing” in the army, when senior ranks begin to mock, beat and try to make them their puppets. Because of this, sometimes it is not men who come from the army, but disabled people, for whom life becomes a difficult test and they end it with suicide, but our government is trying to fight this problem in the ranks of the Russian army.
I listened carefully to my father. I remembered how he told me about himself earlier.
My father also initially served in conscription at the age of 18, and then, after serving his military service, he went under contract to serve in Afghanistan.
Afghanistan is the southern neighbor of the former Soviet Union, an independent state in southwest Asia.
In nineteen seventy-nine, a war broke out in the DRA based on a change of power. Some were against it, and some were for it, and between the “for” and “against” there was a conflict that entailed many victims. Many fled from the country to neighboring states: Pakistan, to Iran, to the USSR. From the territory of Pakistan, mercenaries and volunteers from among the refugees were transferred from the territory of Pakistan back to Afghanistan, and it was they who carried out large-scale actions against the inhabitants remaining on the territory of the DRA. At the numerous requests of the Afghan people, assistance was provided from the USSR, and in December of nineteen seventy-nine, our troops were introduced into the territory of Afghanistan,
to provide assistance to a friendly state. My father served from nineteen hundred and eighty-six to nineteen eighty-seven, and was awarded the medal “For Courage” and the medal “To an Internationalist Warrior from the grateful Afghan people.” Other poems have been written about this war:
We are wounded by Afghanistan, poisoned by its fog,
Our houses are sprayed
The simple horrors of war.
A strange and terrible war. Unintelligible, like a dushman’s blow. Immeasurable grief and war. The work of the “Black Tulip”.
What will heal these wounds -
What reality, what dreams?
Many of our guys gave their lives for the lives of civilians. Viktor Verstakov, a participant in battles on Afghan soil, said very honestly and accurately:
I will remember the cold of battle at dawn. Hot fights in damp gorges
Children will be remembered, Afghan children,
Children come first. Fights - secondly, for the sake of children on gangster bullets
You got up, didn’t take care of yourself,
For the sake of the children, having received treatment in Kabul,
The saved one brought dry drink to the regiment...
Many guys went to this war not only from all over the USSR, but I am from our Kurgan region. Some returned alive and well, and some were brought in zinc coffins, a load of 200. The war lasted 10 years. In nineteen eighty-nine, the last Soviet soldier left the Democratic Republic of Afghanistan.
Gray marble slabs.
They lie in Russian cemeteries.
And photographs are poured into them
Very young guys.
They openly stare at the world
The rays of the morning dawn.
And only sadness around the house is hidden
In the eyes of the soldiers for the time being
Still, in my opinion, the army for a young man is a school that prepares him for courage and bravery, honor and dignity, so that he can stand up for himself and his neighbor, so that he can defend his homeland when needed.
The nature of war is unnatural, forcing people to fight each other, but let’s show in an unstable world, a strong army is needed by an arable country.
Here is the text of an excerpt from the epilogue of Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment: Pointless and aimless anxiety in the present, and in the future one continuous sacrifice, which did not gain anything - this is what lay ahead of him in the world. And what does it matter that in eight years he will only be thirty-two years old and he can start living again! Why should he live? What to keep in mind? What to strive for? Live to exist? But a thousand times before he was ready to give up his existence for an idea, for hope, even for fantasy. Existence alone was never enough for him; he always wanted more. Perhaps, just by the strength of his desires, he then considered himself a person who had more permission than others. And at least fate sent him repentance - burning repentance, breaking his heart, driving away sleep, such repentance, from the terrible torment of which he imagines a noose and a pool! Oh, he would be glad to see him! Torment and tears - this is also life. But he did not repent of his crime. At least he could be angry at his stupidity, just as he was angry before at his ugly and stupid actions that brought him to prison. But now, already in prison, free, he again discussed and thought about all his previous actions and did not find them at all as stupid and ugly as they seemed to him at that fateful time before. “In what way,” he thought, “was my thought more stupid than other thoughts and theories that have been swarming and colliding with one another in the world since this world has existed? One only has to look at the matter completely independent, broad and freed from everyday influences.” glance, and then, of course, my thought will turn out to be not so ... strange. O deniers and sages in a coin of silver, why do you stop halfway! Well, why does my action seem so ugly to them? - he said to himself. - Because is he an atrocity? What does the word “atrocity” mean? My conscience is calm. Of course, a criminal offense has been committed; of course, the letter of the law has been violated and blood has been shed, well, take my head for the letter of the law... and that’s enough! Of course, in this case, even many benefactors of mankind, who did not inherit power, but seized it themselves, should have been executed at their very first steps. But those people endured their steps, and therefore they are right, but I did not endure and, therefore, I had no right to allow take this step for yourself." This is one thing he admitted to his crime: only that he did not bear it and made a confession. He also suffered from the thought: why didn’t he kill himself then? Why did he stand over the river then and choose to confess? Is there really such strength in this desire to live and is it so difficult to overcome it? Did Svidrigailov, who was afraid of death, prevail? He asked himself this question with torment and could not understand that even then, when he stood over the river, perhaps he had a presentiment in himself and in his convictions of a deep lie. He did not understand that this premonition could be a harbinger of a future turning point in his life, his future resurrection, a future new outlook on life.